Have you ever felt like your life was at a standstill? Even…

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Posted by: InnerDiva Original: 5/23/2009 12:42 PM Views: 34 Comments: 11 eProps: 10 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: SweetWifey TheMochaPeach PiecesofaDream TooCute_2BLegal darkskinlady

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Have you ever felt like your life was at a standstill?

Even though I'll have my masters in August, even though I'm trying to get a foundation/charity started, even though things seem to be moving, I still feel stuck. It's like...what am I really doing with myself? Everything looks good on the outside, but what's happening here?

The boyfriend and I got into a mini-argument last night about marriage. I feel like everyone around me is getting married or having kids and we're just coasting along. It's not like I want to get married right this minute, but I'd like to know that there's a plan. I guess Steve Harvey's book was right, because my boyfriend gave me the spech about not being comfortable enough to marry me if he couldn't provide for me. In my mind I'm like that;s all welll and good, but when are you going to feel comfortable? I feel like I'm not getting any younger...I don't want to end up an old maid with a bunch of cats (I don't even like cats), but then again the thought of getting married scares me. I just don't know.

I'm thinking about buying a car for my birthday, even though I haven't driven a car in over a year. I guess I'd have to take some refresher lessons, but I'm tired of depending on friends or my parents to drive me around. I'm tired of taking the bus or the train everywhere. I feel like a loser when I have to ask people to drive me somewhere. I have my eye on a white '06 Mazda...I just hope it's still available when I'm ready to buy.

I'm also thinking about joining a gym. There's exercise equipment in the basement, but I'm just not motivated. I need someone to yell at me while I work out. I need to get my flabby stomach back to flat again before this cruise in August. I've lost weight, but I don't like how my body looks. My stomach is big and round, my thighs are too skinny, and my butt could stand to be toned. I'm seriously considering joining Crunch. All these exercises in the magazines are well and good, but I'm too lazy to do them.

I guess I'm just not happy.

Posted 5/23/2009 12:42 PM - 34 Views - 10 eProps - 11 comments

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11 Comments

Yeah Ive definitely felt at a stand-still before. It's a frustrating place to be.

I hear u about the BF. Even if he isn't ready to "set a date" per se, it's nice to know that things are going "somewhere"..... that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Agreeing about needing someone to yell at me and encourage me while i work out. Unfortunately, im not able to self-motivate sufficiently. Sad but true.

Posted 5/23/2009 1:11 PM by SweetWifey - reply

Women look for the right person....Men look for the right time.

That's all I got to say about that................

Posted 5/23/2009 9:16 PM by TheMochaPeach - reply

If you are not my mental twin, I don't know who is? LOL Minus the car, I'm feeling all of this. I am hoping to convince my mom to buy me a wii and a wii fit, in replace of a gym.. LOL

My grandmother bought me the Steve Harvey book, I should read it...

Congrats on the Masters!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5/26/2009 3:21 PM by PiecesofaDream - reply

Well I have heard a claim on Tyra from some supposed "relationship expert" that if a man doesn't so much as drop a hint about marriage don't count on it happening esp any time soon. Me personally, I feel like marriage is just one of those things, until the man is comfortable and ready to take the plunge the relationship will remain at a stalemate/ floating until the woman is ready to either do what you did (speak up about it) or jump ship.

But I feel where he's coming from after watching Baisden one night, men just feel like crap and worthless/ not manly when they can't provide. As for marriage, it should never be forced though I've personally witnessed a couple of those situations end in disaster where the woman pushed for the date too soon/ too much/ applied too much pressure. Like I told an ex of mine, can't really base your life around the others around you, things happen to people at different times, different seasons, for different reasons. All you can do is look at what you have accomplished given your circumstances and feel good about what you have managed to achieve. The grass isn't always greener on the other side ; )

I can say I feel the same as you though. Even though I'm engaged and have a baby on the way I feel like my life is sort of at a standstill esp career wise aside from just now getting my bachelor's, I'm still living at home, I don't even have a full time career job to show for just a few resume fillers but my friends graduated b/f me, have jobs, some are even working on their masters right now.

As for not having that full time career job it makes it hard to plan a nice wedding let alone get ready for baby on our own we've had lots of free blessings/ gifts come thru but sometimes you like to know you're able to do for yourself. Aside from not having the career and the place I can say I'm happy for the most part. Marriage scares me a little b/c of all these not so hot statistics about its failure that we have going around now but I think that's the only reason we haven't done it yet (get married) b/c we want something nice and can't afford it.

~Sorry this was soooo long. Keep your head and doing what you're doing : )

Posted 5/26/2009 3:33 PM by TooCute_2BLegal - reply

I have been in your position many a time and currently going through it again. Its enough to make you wanna holla I swear. Just keep trucking on, things will eventually get better. They have too!! at least thats what i tell myself

Posted 5/26/2009 6:23 PM by darkskinlady - reply

@SweetWifey - Hey Yaki! How's the family?

We've discussed it, and he basically said he fully intends to make me his wife, he just doesnt' have the money to do it the way he knows I'd want and doesn't want me to regret not having the wedding I always wanted. I guess he also wants to be more established before taking on the added responsibility of a family.

Posted 5/30/2009 12:05 PM by InnerDiva - reply

@TheMochaPeach - Miss Lady...you are looking quite FAB in your little profile pic! I wish he would hurry up and decide it was time. He knows good and well he wants to be stuck with me, LOL

Posted 5/30/2009 12:06 PM by InnerDiva - reply

@PiecesofaDream - You know the funny thing is, I actually have a Wii and a Wii Fit. Now do you see what I mean about needing someone to yell at me? There's a new game, I believe it's called EA Active. I think I'm going to get that and work out for real. Crunch is way more than I need to spend in life right now.

Posted 5/30/2009 12:08 PM by InnerDiva - reply

@TooCute_2BLegal - Girl, I keep forgetting to send you and little miss a gift. I looked at your registry but it seems like you got most of it. Send an email and let me know what you need so I can send y'all something!

I feel you on the "forced" thing. He actually told me that...that he didn't want to get down the road and then resent me for pushing him into something he wasn't ready for just yet. He also said if I keep harassing him about proposing, it won't be a surprise when it happens because I'll always be expecting it. I huess I just have to sit back and be patient.

You have matured so much and have accomplished so much since I've "met" you. I am really proud of you! You're getting ready to be somebody's mom and that is so awesome to me.

Posted 5/30/2009 12:13 PM by InnerDiva - reply

@darkskinlady - So how do you deal with it? It's really hard to be frustrated and still have to keep going...and not even know what you're going towards!

Posted 5/30/2009 12:15 PM by InnerDiva - reply

honestly girl, I just keep going and pray that things eventually work out. I read something before that I think is so true: Want to make God laugh, tell him your plans! I thought that was so funny yet true cause I keep saying that my life is going to go a particular way and it is the complete opposite but all you can do is keep living and keep the faith that God hasnt completely turned a deaf ear towards your prays and that one day, things will turn out the way they should be for you.

Posted 5/30/2009 1:59 PM by darkskinlady - reply

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